Surviving the In-Laws

Don't get me wrong...my in-laws are nice people, but they are soooooooo irritating. Take my mother-in-law. She readily fails to speak in complete sentences and her inflection makes her sound like a complete airhead. She also has a tendency to take over my home whenever she visits (thank the gods she's in the Midwest and we're on the west coast), trying to "help out" but instead reeking havoc amongst my belongings. And she's so superficial. I truly marvel at the fact that she has a nursing degree from University of Chicago. How does someone so unintelligent get into such a reputable school? Her interests lie solely in the mundane, her conversations unable to rise above small talk. As if I care about what so-and-so said about Hurricane Charlie. And my father-in-law fares no better. Ultimately, he's a sexist, bigoted old fart with a juvenile sense of humor that will not quit. And the repetitiveness of his "jokes" makes me want to strangle him. Say it once, figure out that no one found it funny, and never say it again. That's what people with some degree of social insight would do. But the thing I really truly resent about them stems from a recent experience. Back in June, I shut down. I was overcome by depression and unable to do anything save for reading books and watching T.V. Bret (my other half) phoned them for some emotional support and lo and behold, they hopped the next plane out here uninvited and once again took over my house, ultimately treating me like a retarded four year-old. I hate to tell you this people, but depression doesn't affect your intellect. And if I had to define a "pet peeve," condescension would be it. At any rate, their presence left me feeling violated...and then very, very angry. I insisted that they leave and they did, but not before losing any iota of respect I held for them. Suffice it to say, I'm not certain that I can handle being with them for 10 days over "Christmas," even if it is in Puerto Vallarta. You'll find me on the beach chugging margaritas. I'm still debating whether or not I want to go at all. I could always head out to North Carolina with my family. Fortunately, not all of Bret's family sucks. I really like his sister Heather. She has a subtle sardonic wit that I of course find appealing. She's been through tough times throughout the past year, and I admire her ability to deal with it in a "healthy" manner, if there is such a thing. At any rate, I have to acknowledge the fact that my feelings for Bret's parents have added some degree of strain to the relationship, at least when we're among them. However, I have made an attempt to not ruin their time here by saying little, if anything to them. I think it's wise, considering the fact that I'd really enjoy going off on them. So I just nod and smile, keeping my answers to a simple "yes" or "no" or "heh." I truthfully don't mind the tension, but I worry that Bret will be upset by it. He hasn't said anything yet. Thankfully, I only have to survive 3 more days with them. No doubt Dolores (I love the fact that her name comes from the Latin "dolor," meaning sorrow) will have everything planned out tourist-style. I'll just wield the same front...quiet disinterest. Perhaps they'll eventually take the hint.

Dawn